Hello, hello, hello! Have you missed me? I've missed you. I think I need to write a blog on how to wriggle out of work in five minutes or less! In the meantime, let's get back to it! Here's a look at a subject that's near and dear to my heart...how to pretend you know how to dance!
You've seen them. I've seen them. The men and women in the slick slacks and hot dresses lined up against the wall of the club, just waiting for their chance to hit the dance floor. You can't wait for the show. Until the music starts!
There's nothing like a square on the dance floor to make you wish you'd stayed home with a book, especially if you happen to be the square!
Anyone can dance, but it comes more naturally for some than others. I strongly suggest you take the time to take some dancing classes to work on your rhythm and give you some slick moves for the dance floor. In the meantime, let's talk about how to fake it!
First and foremost, walk out onto the dance floor with confidence. Avid clubbers are piranhas. If you show fear, they'll eat you alive purely for the entertainment value.
Men, you've actually got it easy here. Grab your date by the hand. Spin her in. Spin her out. Now, start a simple box step. (If you don't know what that is, follow the link. Quickly.) Step forward two counts, to the side two counts, back two counts, to the side two counts, repeat ad nauseum. Lift your arms into an "L" shape, bob your shoulders in time with your steps and resist the urge to snap your fingers. Every once in a while, grab your girl and spin her again.
You won't win any awards, but you might have a fighting chance at a second date when you're done.
Ladies, you've got it a little rougher. The good news is, men aren't hard to entertain on the dance floor. I suggest you go with the simple Figure Eight. Without moving your upper body, drop your left hip and bring it forward. Circle back as your right hip comes up. Drop the right hip back down and repeat. Practice until you can make a figure 8 smoothly. This move can be done while moving up and down, left to right or back to front. As long as you do it slowly on a 1-2-3-4 beat it works with almost anything you'll find in a club.
Now, lift your arms slowly to shoulder level and make a small Figure Eight with your shoulders to go with your hips. Again, it won't be Saturday Night Fever, but you won't embarrass yourself out on the dance floor.
The important thing is to relax! Nothing screams "I'm faking it!" like the stench of stress rolling over the pheromone laden dance floor. Have fun.
If they chew you up and spit you out, you'll go out with a smile.